Sibling finds out that dad took brother out of his will without telling him, while he is still making plans, counting on receiving that money: ‘I feel uncomfortable knowing this and saying nothing.’

Author image for María Cetra
María Cetra • Writer
Aug 24, 2026 1:00 PM EDT

Maybe don't plan your financial choices with somebody else's money.

Something that is not exactly common in other countries that aren't the U.S. is getting to choose how much money and what of your things goes to whom. In most countries, if you pass away, your children get your inheritance. Maybe you can add somebody else to your will, but you cannot get your children out of your testament, at least not without proof that they don't deserve it. I think that getting to choose who gets what is great. It gives the person who has the money and property the right to give them to the person they want to, the person they think deserves it, not just who the law decides. But I also understand how it can be problematic.

If you don't have a good relationship with your children, it's not that weird not wanting them to =get your money when you are out of this world. You can think they don't deserve it. After all, those things that someone will call inheritance are your things. You worked hard for them. Nobody else. So maybe you should have the right to decide who you want to keep them with one day. I also understand that maybe you weren't close to your parents, or at least not as close as your siblings. And getting removed from their will because of it and favoring your sibling may be really hard for someone. Is not even about the money. Is about how displaced you may feel in that case.

We could discuss several things about the story. Like the fact that the father is expecting their child to keep a secret from their sibling about something of utter importance. But I think the worst part of all this is actually how the sibling is planning how they will use the money once they receive it, even though the parent is still alive. I think that no one should be making financial decisions with money that isn't theirs. And even less to be assuming that they owe an inheritance just because they are family. I would suggest this sibling concentrate on what they have instead of waiting for some money that is never going to come their way. 

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  • 01
    My dad recently told me privately that he changed his will. The change affects my brother quite a bit, but my dad specifically asked me not to tell him because he doesn't want another argument in the family. I didn't ask my dad to explain his decision, and I haven't seen the actual will. I only know that my brother is no longer getting something he was previously supposed to receive. My brother has been making plans based on what he believed he would eventually inherit. He recently mentioned tha
    via LopsidedEntry9376
  • 02
    A pen with the just-signed testament for the father's will.
    via Álvaro Serrano

    A pen with the just-signed testament for the father's will.

  • 03
    to help with a major financial decision. I feel uncomfortable knowing this and saying nothing. At the same time, my dad is still alive, the decision is his, and I don't feel like it's my place to reveal something he deliberately told me in confidence. My brother would probably be furious with me if he eventually found out that I knew. I haven't told him anything so far. AITA for keeping quiet about something I know will seriously affect
    via LopsidedEntry9376
  • 04
    my brother, just because my dad asked me to?
    via LopsidedEntry9376
  • 05
    The father signs the will that makes only one sibling get the inheritance. Image for illustrative purposes.
    via Scott Graham

    The father signs the will that makes only one sibling get the inheritance.

    Image for illustrative purposes. 

  • 06
    chillykim Can you speak with your Dad about your brother's plans? This way your Dad knows your brother is counting on this inheritance. It's up to your Dad to speak to your brother. Nothing good will come from you spilling the beans.
    via chillykim
  • 07
    Legitimate_Ranger334 Maybe suggest that Dad tell Brother that he's re-evaluating, and is starting from scratch with his own plans for the money he has. Not tell Brother what's in the new will, or even that there is one, but just that things are in flux and undetermined.
    via Legitimate_Ranger334
  • 08
    2_old_for_this_spit Don't tell him, and when the time comes, play dumb. Your father should not have put you in this position.
    via 2_old_for_this_spit
  • 09
    Usual-Canary-7764 Ask your father for the exact reason. When your brother finds out...you will definitely want to know what that reasoning was NTA. Also not your place to tell your brother. Also tell your dad to leave a written explanation for his decision with the lawyers (it will save you massive headaches in future).
    via Usual-Canary-7764
  • 10
    capitanooldballs That's a copy situation your dad put you in - I'm sorry. This is a "d ed if you do, d ed if you don't" situation.
    via capitanooldballs
  • 11
    Longjumping-Pen-5095 ESH. Your brother sounds entitled and shouldn't be expecting anything, and if he makes poor financial decisions, that's his own problem. Your father has the right to leave whatever he wants to who ever he wants, but hes ks for telling you, and then asking you to keep it a secret, that's not fair of him. This is his problem and he's causing extra drama by involving you. If you really think your brother deserves to know, tell your father that he has to tell him himself, or tha
    via Longjumping-Pen-5095
  • 12
    brother is mad now, then at the reading of the will. Sure, your dad gains a little bit of false peace, but this will lead to your brother, hating his memory forever, and a possible rift in your relationship with him.
    via Longjumping-Pen-5095
  • 13
    Front-Algae-7838 Maybe say to your brother that he shouldn't make plans based on an inheritance as none of us knows what the future holds. If he questions you, you can tell him you don't know what your Dad's health is going to be like in his later years, what if he needs to sell things to pay for care or (if you are in the USA) meet Medicare requirements.
    via Front-Algae-7838
  • 14
    Roddyrod18 ΝΤΑ Your dad entrusted you so it would be best to play dumb and let things unfold when your dad pass. Do not dare tell anyone that you knew about the change because you will ruin your relationship with your brother for nothing.
    via Roddyrod18
  • 15
    atotalmess Your brother being an idiot isn't really a good reason to break your dad's confidence nor is it a good reason to subject your dad to your brother wanting his money before he's even gone
    via atotalmess
  • 16
    DangerousKangaroo234 If anything, tell your brother that you're not counting g on anything because anything can happen including an illness that can wipe out all the money.
    via DangerousKangaroo234
  • 17
    Luxy2801 It's your father's money, not yours or your brother's. He can spend it all if he chooses to. Or leave it all to charity. It's his choice.
    via Luxy2801

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family drama will problems money
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